I feel horrible, really.

I am dismayed at the thought of spending this entire week doing outfield training with the rest of my soldiers. For two years straight I have no opportunity of celebrating National Day with my family and friends — just last year weeks were spent in Taiwan whereas now I am still in Singapura but hopelessly stuck in her mud mixed with sweat and maybe a bit of blood and camouflage creme. Actually I have no qualms about outfield training just that training this time round will be much taxing than before.

Oh. How can National Service not turn gay boys into real men?

For those boys out there especially the Bengs and the Mats who have yet to taste the sweetness of National Service, no matter how fearsome or big you think you are now, I still find you all close to being a nothing (not even a gnat, mind you). So just wait and see alright?

PS. I will be away for quite a period now. So just browse my Facebook or past entries if you miss me. I know, I know. Miss you too ):

Updated thoughts..

And it’s exactly what you wanted..

I am such a slacker!
I am so free and available now someone please bring me out this weekend.

(:

Someone posted this video of the 43rd ASLC Graduation Parade.
Pleasant memories during my training stint in SISPEC.
You can see me in the video in the Award Winners’ Contingent from 03:48mins onwards.
I was nervous but Sergeants must not collapse under great pressure.

I am supposed to be back in camp for COS duty in less than three hours time but my beauty sleep just only got disrupted by this disturbing dream I had:

That this great girl’s father knew my father and he truly adored me.

It felt real and wonderful but the dream got too farfetched I woke up, started thinking and became really agitated at not being able to fall asleep again.

But still, I miss this girl who is having a great time elsewhere.

Where is the peace and tranquility?

My last accident during ATEC Stage 1 could really spell the end of me being fighting-fit for my unit. The injury to my ligaments got aggravated and according to the Orthopaedics it has gotten worse than before. So he gave me this long term status which included EX RMJ, LONG DISTANCE RUNNING and GUARD DUTY and it will stretch until mid October — the first two I understand but EX GUARD DUTY?? 0_0

I feel hopeless you know.

The heavy rain would do lots of good you know. This morning I saw scattered remnants of all sorts of creepy crawlies around my neighbourhood as there were guys fogging the rubbish chutes everywhere. At least they get washed away instead of the janitors doing the dirty work. It was great for me because it totally killed these creatures; awesome for cats because they ended up playing with these helpless babies and I saw lots of decapitated and halved roaches flailing around. However, this has always been a nightmare for housewives especially those who have their rubbish chutes just underneath their washing area. When people like my mother get lucky you have the chance of seeing them scream and freak out when they happen to like accidentally step on one or two of them. But I hate it when she orders me to kill them because that is the only time when you get to see how white their innards are. And I have always been tasked to do that since I was seven.

I am just a bit worried though. Downpours become merciless when they get collected in the canal infront of my block. And when you repeatedly hear a cat’s mew like how I am hearing it now, it can be a very distressing SOS signal. Sometimes I do my part by climbing down the stairs and saving these kitties but of late I saw lots of algae carpetting the canal so it is a bit risky lest I want to end up getting flushed to nowhere. I just hope for now that kitty is not trapped inside the canal. I can only hope.

For now, I am having fun watching Youtube videos.

I cannot resist but to post this photo of my friends:

“That moment in the bus was one I could not rid off my mind. And that memory forever haunts me. What if I had …?
I want to search for it again. I have never felt so hopeful about this.
Maybe that was IT.
Maybe it was.”

I was asked a night ago how I seem to have so much time with me now that my friends have seen me out so often during the weekends. Perhaps he could be the last one to ask since no one else seems bothered (or maybe partly due to my lack of emotions).

I replied him with much regret though of the truth,
But sadly,
There are more to be told.

My fairy tale ended a long time ago, my friends.