Mailmen these days either have shaky hands, rough hands or they’re just born rash.

I just received my letter from somewhere Down Under but the state it’s in is really making me considering swimming there myself just to get my message safely delivered. When she told me that my card nearly became a wreck, it’s hard to believe initially; but now that I’m seeing this with my own eyes — and it’s actually something she painstakingly made — maybe it’s not such a bad idea to print out some LARGE, BOLD letters at the face of the envelope like:

FRAGILE, HANDLE WITH CARE, or

NO BENDING PLEASE, or

DANGER, HIGHLY EXPLOSIVE, or

STOP SHAKING ME, I’M JUST AN ENVELOPE, or

YOU CAN GUESS WHAT’S INSIDE, BUT NO FEELING OR PRESSING, or

DON’T TOUCH ME!!

Sometimes for a situation like this, you’ll need to take drastic actions.