If nothing had happened back then — if he was still beautifully gracing this Earth — it will be his birthday tomorrow.
Been a year already.
You are truly missed my friend, hope all is well there..

Love you Tapa..

Someone sent me a package!
There were two really, really lovely gifts inside that came all the way from that special someone in Australia;
these could not have arrived at a better timing than now. Love it!

I headed down to Canon Service Centre earlier to have my 50mm F.1.8 serviced as I spotted a foreign
particle trapped in between the two lenses — how it got there, I had no idea. It did not look like any type
of fungus, rather it had this cute, bubbly gelly-like look that reminded me of the Amoeba Boys of The
Powerpuff Girls. No kidding!

They cleaned it on the spot and returned me my prime lens at no extra charge at all. How convenient eh?
I asked them if they could spare me some advice on preventing this from reoccuring but they had none.
It was said that I just got unlucky. How slipshod!

Well, at least my lens is clean now.

Oh, I got a super low-end phone for myself to replace the retarded one. Like, really low-end. Heh.
Back to the army days, eh?

I love you Sakina, so much!

It was a day of mixed feelings for me on Sunday as it started pleasingly between me and my beloved
until a series of other events unrelated to her made me a little disheartened about certain things and
it involved a bit of self-actualisation too. But I will not touch on it here because the futility makes the
mention of it quite dumb just like the subject to this topic. I swear there are things that need to be
sorted out right now but even if I try hard, I doubt the same will happen with the other party.

Trust is a heavy word, really.

(The three-headed sexy beast with the fierce Jacky-head, happy Justin-head, and confused Rusydi-head.)

When I was younger, my dearest mother always demanded that I trust no other people except those from
my household. Did ‘demand’ seem too strong of a word here? No I do not think so, especially after considering
the validity of its usage and its importance. But why only my direct relatives, and not even my cousins?

(Someone seems to be missing from this photo right Zeng Siong?)

It took me quite some time to understand that no one can ever love a person more than his own family does.
Sometimes it can be utterly puzzling to accept this statement straight but if sufficient time for thought is given,
that person will eventually be able to fathom this simple yet somehow misunderstood fact.

I guess experience plays a part, and not to forget maturity too because I reckon no young punk out there
believes that not even a word of your best friend should be dissolved in you. Controversial? No. Eat this
opinion whole unless you have spent enough time with your family to refute this claim which I think
can never be achieved even until you have spent half a century of your life wondering if your own family
loves you.

(Look at Justin! He is asking to be punched, really.)

Your own family definitely loves you; they only seem not to (you claimed) because you have not given your
whole heart to try to perceive them by becoming less selfish and forcing yourself to get out of your narrowed
mentality.

How can anyone even have the audacity to judge that there is a lack of love reserved for him or herself in the
family?

How could you blame your parents for what you are now?

Do you know why these people are called childish? Simply because, they have not grown up enough. If they
are, they will definitely know whom to trust more.

Amongst friends, you should definitely trust the one who values you more than anything; the one who cares
for you, at least.

Three years back, I did not really quite make it to becoming a Medical Technician. Now that I have my
second chance, I better end up graduating as a qualified Optometrist.

With whatever I have right now, — my love, my friends, my family, my hobby — I do not see a reason why
I will never make it through.

Back then, it was a distraction having someone; she was definitely not like you, dearest. She could never be.

I better make it happen now; if I really want it, I need to work hard and earn it.

Thank you fate for the second chance, oh God..

I wish I could just ask the GF to just call me. But you all know that will be near impossible, bearing in mind
the cost of lost distance calls. Heh.

Tell you something. I have been so busy this week, I rarely had the chance to update this blog of mine.
And I still have more things to do later on, so I shall keep this update short this time.

(Bye Xabi?)

Last week, Denise and I caught the Singapore vs Liverpool match as she received free tickets from her
aunt who works at Nike. Cool right? I was so honoured beyond words she chose me of all people! OMG.
I am a Red Devil fan please, but I will never object to freebies! Especially, photo opportunities! :P

Sadly, my beloved Singapore team lost to the Reds five goals to nothing. What made it more disappointing,
the National Anthem was not even aired like the Pool’s Anthem. Last time I heard, the contract was breached
since no anthem was allowed to be played that day. Pool sucks, perhaps they do not understand English that
well eh? Hahaha go Devils! :D

(She’s one cool person to hang around with, yo!)

Then on Wednesday, there was Poly 50 and I was one of the photographers that day. Cool is it not? :)

The best thing about being a photographer is that everyone suddenly becomes my friend, even the Miss DJ
on top. And everyone will just be dying to call out for me, just to have their photos taken. Fun right? It is as if
I have become Mister Popular. Heh. Not that I crave for attention, but sometimes it feels great to be appreciated
and wanted.

I love my models. That is why I not only take photos, but I give photos to them as well. It is the best way of
returning the favour. :)

(Running with ghosts. Cool eh?)

So I should be submitting these photos to Mister Terence tomorrow at SAA — in CD form — and it has been so long
since I last disturbed my stack of blank CDRs. But I wonder how come they are depleting right now — must be my
sister eh? Tsk tsk!

(SP Photographers! Not many fireworks photos I took, only those in Facebook. Had fun though!)

Just yesterday, we had another SPPeeps outing at Esplanade for the National Day preview plus fireworks display.
But, my lack of experience in capturing fireworks caught up with me, so I did not really manage to get any decent
shots from the outing. However, having the SPPeeps were enough to compensate my disappointment because these
people being camera lovers, really really love to take photos of themselves! How can I not join in the madness too eh??

Especially peeps like Xin Yi and Halimah! Oh yea Halimah, now I am really considering purchasing that Mini Instax,
even when I already own the Instax 200. Grr.

(These two girls are camera-crazy. They love cameras so much, so they rock!)

But I should save up more. For my future. And I should not eat too much fast food already. I spent too much,
way too much on Zinger ahhh! >< "

By the way, my parents are considering purchasing an external flash unit for me so that I could really start
on doing part-time photography assignments. I find this super cool, but I cannot imagine the amount of tasks
piling up on me. Erk!

Not that I am complaining, I am just a little concerned here. But you all should know me by now, I would love it
so much more if they could just get for me that flash I have been waiting for! Come on come on! :P

Dear You,

It has been tiring for me, really tiring. I wish I could do something more but I am far powerless
than I imagined myself to be. We are pretty muted on the surface but actually alot more are happening
within us that we ourselves are finding hard to fathom — I find it easier to say that we have been ignoring
it instead.

So far, I have been contented with leaving signals, writing on walls and tracing white paper but these
really are not enough — at least not enough to convince you well, Love.

I think this really tires me. I do not want to die young, die trying.

I wish I could do more, Love.

You were the sweetest, you blue thing called smurf.

Happy Independence Day my friends!

This is how simple my desktop can be, but will always be the most gorgeous-looking.

:P

I am soooo going to get slaughtered by Sakina one day. Haahaha!

Just a quick note before I:

1) Get back to studying;
2) Fall asleep;
3) Study more photos;
4) Stone; or
5) Play Friends For Sale..

Happy 20th Birthday to my one and only, Hajjah Nur Sakina! You cute thing, when can we finally meet after such a loooong,
loooong time eh? Now that you are no more a teenager, I can no longer be considered a paedophile! Haha. Do you still
remember six years back then when the both of us were so nervous and secretive we almost, always scared our selves
without anyone scaring us? And all the play-acting and sweet mushy words we were so fond of exchanging up to this day?
How the both of us got to know of each other, it was so magical and unique I am so glad I kept that piece of evidence that
started everything! You should know what I mean right right?? :P

I love the both of us because we are just too cute to be human!

Ohh.. I mean..

You are as cute as a kitten while I am as cute as a chick.. or a hamster.. or a donkey.. or a goat.. or a treefrog..

Oh whatever! Anyway, Happy Birthday Pumpkin! Let us build our mansion in Toorak alright? Or have I already owned
one there? xD

And it was my sister’s 21st birthday yesterday too! And Khalid’s birthday is today. In two days time, it will be my mom’s!
Ahhhhh! I am super broke already. Super broke beyond repair. Haiyaaaah.. :(

(The Big Event at Marina Barrage!)

Ladies and gentlemen, I will be one of two photographers from the club chosen to cover this school event. I am….
NERVOUS!
Omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg!!

So tomorrow I will be heading down to school for its briefing, Saturday will be our SP Photographers’ outing at
Botanic Garden and Sunday is reserved for this party. To my dearest DOPT/1A01 buddies, I will definitely come
for dinner but you all will have to excuse me as this Rusydi will only be free after I am done with the photoshoot.
Sooooo… WAIT FOR MEEEEE!!

And come Saturday I will finally be reunited with my beloved wifey!!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGGGGGG!!