Congratulations to the winners of SP Most Photogenic 2009, M3 Keith and F4 Petrine!

All good things must come to an end though, and it was fun while it lasted. It was great to have found lovely new buddies like classmates Hisyam and Jamie who were finalists M1 and F1 respectively; and to have worked hard with the other SP Photographers was an experience never to be forgotten too.

Especially when playing with the studio equipment! KENDRICK! :)

(Gay buddies! Gayness FTW! xD)

It was also a time full of trials; a time that revealed who our true friends were. Seriously. What does not not kill, will only make one stronger. And someone had to learn that the harsh way. Of course I was disappointed but I do hope that we all learn and extract something valuable from this misfortune.

Ah. Forget it man.

(My wife gets handled by alot of people, seriously. But I guess sharing is caring! :D)

But there were definitely more magical moments for us to find comfort in! Like real ones! Like how my instant films could pop out of my Instax just like that! Developed right away infront of someone somemore! Real fun! Real joy! MARCUS! ;)

And we will hopefully remember only those times that made us happy. Not the negatives. Forget the negatives. We cannot afford to be sad. We need to move on.

(Leave..)

“You must dare to disassociate yourself from those who would delay your journey… Leave, depart, if not physically, then mentally. Go your own way, quietly, undramatically, and venture toward trueness at last.”
— Vernon Howard

And we will never be foolish again..

I love working with my current employer, Watsons Personal Store. Now that I nailed this job, I told Dad I would be quitting the unearthly hours of night work since Watsons pay me more to work less and I badly need those extra hours of sleep for this new semester. But I think I caused an inconvenience to my Dad since my resignation was all too sudden and therefore I sort of forced him to find an immediate replacement for me which was impossible; my Dad was the supervisor there and I worked as his assistant so to get someone as experienced can be a little tricky. I think our relationship is a little bit strained right now, so I will have to sort it out soon.

Oh, stop mocking Ris Low people, I do not think most of you will fare any better. With the way we were brought up, we should blame the system instead.

We love to create big issues out of someone’s flaws but forget that we are no better or even worse become the subject of our own mockery.

Humans are like that and I do not think that will ever change.

“Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man’s sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.

Poosiang had a job opportunity for me that would pay me well and he asked if I have a portfolio of all my event
shoots. And he received a negative from me.

I guess it is due time for me to selectively compile photos to be included in my proper photography portfolio. This
will definitely help me in the future in case my clients decide to have a look at them — which will always be the case —
before they decide to hire me.

I frequent Zack Arias’ site where he used to post videos of him and his wife doing critiques for other photographers
of their submitted portfolios — that will be a great place to begin with.

I should also focus on the type of photography I want to be in. So far, all my photos were more diverse than anything
that is why I need to be more specialised in a certain field eg people, architectural, nature, etc. That way, at least
I have the chance to be truly exceptional in an area, instead of just mediocre in everything.

I am still looking at becoming a photography assistant first though — that will be best for me.

What I really need before I can start anything: A proper storage disk of at least 1TB, and a Speedlite. Anyone?

(I decided to give this kitty a name, and her name happened to be Joonies. LOL.)

When I grabbed the paper this morning, the cover page got my attention:

(Already twelve deaths this year..)

You young photographers are creative but can you be less reckless? Justin used to talk to me about having
a shoot at the same railway and I was thinking Evon could be our model but I guess there are better locations
now like the edge of UOB Plaza One’s roof or the Henderson Waves Bridge where we could possibly suspend
below it and start going crazy with Evon. She will be thrilled, I promise.

This girl, she told me she recently had her wardrobe ‘updated’ and ‘filled’. Give me some attitude girl, and then
Justin and I will bring you out and do some serious damage, no, business. After the exams, when your nerves
are settled from the mugging, when this gayboy comes back from his Genting trip, we will rock the nation —
Oh I love this, what an ambition! But seriously, we are serious about you — your crazy nose and delible nails.
Oh yeah.

Stay safe alright?

If nothing had happened back then — if he was still beautifully gracing this Earth — it will be his birthday tomorrow.
Been a year already.
You are truly missed my friend, hope all is well there..

Love you Tapa..

It was a day of mixed feelings for me on Sunday as it started pleasingly between me and my beloved
until a series of other events unrelated to her made me a little disheartened about certain things and
it involved a bit of self-actualisation too. But I will not touch on it here because the futility makes the
mention of it quite dumb just like the subject to this topic. I swear there are things that need to be
sorted out right now but even if I try hard, I doubt the same will happen with the other party.

Trust is a heavy word, really.

(The three-headed sexy beast with the fierce Jacky-head, happy Justin-head, and confused Rusydi-head.)

When I was younger, my dearest mother always demanded that I trust no other people except those from
my household. Did ‘demand’ seem too strong of a word here? No I do not think so, especially after considering
the validity of its usage and its importance. But why only my direct relatives, and not even my cousins?

(Someone seems to be missing from this photo right Zeng Siong?)

It took me quite some time to understand that no one can ever love a person more than his own family does.
Sometimes it can be utterly puzzling to accept this statement straight but if sufficient time for thought is given,
that person will eventually be able to fathom this simple yet somehow misunderstood fact.

I guess experience plays a part, and not to forget maturity too because I reckon no young punk out there
believes that not even a word of your best friend should be dissolved in you. Controversial? No. Eat this
opinion whole unless you have spent enough time with your family to refute this claim which I think
can never be achieved even until you have spent half a century of your life wondering if your own family
loves you.

(Look at Justin! He is asking to be punched, really.)

Your own family definitely loves you; they only seem not to (you claimed) because you have not given your
whole heart to try to perceive them by becoming less selfish and forcing yourself to get out of your narrowed
mentality.

How can anyone even have the audacity to judge that there is a lack of love reserved for him or herself in the
family?

How could you blame your parents for what you are now?

Do you know why these people are called childish? Simply because, they have not grown up enough. If they
are, they will definitely know whom to trust more.

Amongst friends, you should definitely trust the one who values you more than anything; the one who cares
for you, at least.

Three years back, I did not really quite make it to becoming a Medical Technician. Now that I have my
second chance, I better end up graduating as a qualified Optometrist.

With whatever I have right now, — my love, my friends, my family, my hobby — I do not see a reason why
I will never make it through.

Back then, it was a distraction having someone; she was definitely not like you, dearest. She could never be.

I better make it happen now; if I really want it, I need to work hard and earn it.

Thank you fate for the second chance, oh God..

I am in the process of counting the number of hours left before I meet my fate in my beloved Wan Fen’s class.
There is nothing general about General Optics module. I wonder how it will be when it becomes less ‘generalised’
and gets a little more challenging and confusing — though I heard the practicals will be more fun (which I
highly doubt so based on the previous practicals involving lens we just did) and less ‘physics-y’.

Heh.

Anyway, I have not revised much; I am doomed; and how can I be indulging in my cheese fries right now
spending quality time with the GF? Ohmygod.

Today time was spent at SAF MMI with this medical Captain who was furiously trying to encourage me
to accept another checkup at CGH which could present me with a monetary compensation if the doctor
there thinks that my torn ligament caused my left ankle to be unstable — which I think is not the case
anymore — and allow me to downgrade my PES status. Thing is, I am someone who honours my current
appointment now and I have no desire to be given a slacker vocation since I love being in the battle zone
as an infantry soldier. That was why I even enquired the MO if it was possible for me to reject the
compensation since I did not want to be downgraded to PES C at least.

But the MO advised me that I should, since he thought that for my case it is highly likely that I will receive
the compensation and the sum is not going to be small at afterall.

All the while, he was pushing me for it.

I guess I will not lose anything if I go ahead with the checkup. If they deemed me fit and require no
downgrade, then oh yes it will be the best. But if they decide that it is better for me to be downgraded
to not stress my ankle, then I will be given some cash to shut me up. Heh.

In the end, I signed the form agreeing to another checkup at CGH.

I hope I made the wisest choice.

PS. This was what the GF thought after reading this entry:

“Good thing ur medical doctor thing was persistent..cos knowing this stubborn donkey here..he wouldnt
have opted for a second checkup if not the doc kan?”

Oh, she knows me well. Hehe.

Ever since I told my colleagues I do not really leave home without my compact camera at least, these guys
totally went bonkers! I never realised these people were photo-whoring freaks! And I loved it!

(I certainly did not like how the entrance looked like, heh.)

Since Woodleigh is located at the now exhumed Bidadari Cemetery, it is common to hear about rumours
and sightings related to this station, especially by those who works nearby or at the station itself. Someone
once said they saw your ’sister’ down at the tracks, while others swore to hearing music playing in the
female toilet — I cannot say these are true but work becomes more interesting if we start believing in it.

(I thought this one looked kind of cool, until I realised my ‘broken arm’. Noooo!)

Obviously my 1000D did not accompany me to work, rather it was mostly my F40FD doing all the dirty
jobs and she did them all exceptionally well. It had never failed me so far that was why I had been hesitating
all along whenever I was close to purchasing another compact like the LX3 or the G10. If I did, it would
have been betrayal. Besides, this beauty has the additional function of video-recording so I cannot see why
it should ever be left at home.

That is why it sits in my bag almost always! :)

(The so-called ‘Youngest Three’ at my workplace. Hahaha flattery eh, I am the youngest! :P)

Work will be a bore if it is done alone without good company. It is worse when it is something laborious
like what I am doing. The same goes for school right? Without good people like the Feople, I doubt I
will be more motivated to study. Good Feople make good music too! Haha!

(Without this guy and his coffee, I would not have survived all the late night work. You rock bro!)

I think I have been consuming too much coffee these days, even in school sometimes. But I guess it cannot
be helped since I need these caffeinated products just to keep me going. I know they are bad in the long run
but I cannot find any other alternatives right now. I hate coffee also because being a diuretic it makes the loo
the most frequented; I smell more like the air fresheners in these toilets now!

(These camwhoring dudes love my camera totally. So they rock big time! :D)

I will not lie. The only thing that motivates me at work is money. If I got no money, I cannot be independent.
That is why I am working right now friends. I am old enough to get engaged you know, so I should be saving
up more. If I keep saying I do not have enough money, that is probably because these income goes straight
to my savings or to my parents for their own use. I should not trouble anyone — human should strive not to
trouble anyone beside their own selves.

(At the staff room after our hard work. Air-conditioned some more!)

I was a little ill-disciplined a few years back and because of money and girl, I lost focus. I do not want to
say much about this. At your age, you should not be looking for partners yet; it can get a little distracting
because you are just too young to understand. I made that mistake last time so I am the in the best position
to advise all of you. Like really, do not bother wishing for a partner yet. Teenagers are just too immature for that.

(We do not do this often but only on Friday nights. Being on the Woodleigh tracks on Friday was.. FUN!)

Just enjoy what you all have now friends. Love what you own now and have fun while you are still young.
I never said I am that old though. Heh.

Dear You,

It has been tiring for me, really tiring. I wish I could do something more but I am far powerless
than I imagined myself to be. We are pretty muted on the surface but actually alot more are happening
within us that we ourselves are finding hard to fathom — I find it easier to say that we have been ignoring
it instead.

So far, I have been contented with leaving signals, writing on walls and tracing white paper but these
really are not enough — at least not enough to convince you well, Love.

I think this really tires me. I do not want to die young, die trying.

I wish I could do more, Love.